It's been an interesting week since the last World Cup in Calgary. I apologize for taking so long to get this race report written. A lot has changed and I'm still figuring out how to deal with everything. I never thought it could really happen, but it did. My quest to make the 2004 Olympic team has come to an end. As Velo News put it so eloquently; I have been mathematically eliminated from the points chase. Before the World Cup in Mt. Ste. Anne we figured out that I was still over 400 points behind the other two Americans. Barring some kind of alien abduction of Mary McConnelog and Sue Haywood, there was no possible way for me to make the Olympic team. Even though I knew making up almost 600 points this year was going to be next to impossible, I never wanted to sit down and work through the various mathematical scenarios because I didn't want to see on paper that what I was trying to do really was next to impossible. I held onto this idea that if I was the best rider in the US and if I won the Norbas and placed well in the World Cups, that somehow, magically, the points would work out and I would go to Athens.
The harsh reality is that because of my shoulder injury, I'm staying home and someone else gets to go to the Olympics. Am I upset? I've cried off and on for the last two weeks. I really believed in my heart that I would make the team. I've been training and racing without any kind of break since I injured my shoulder last June; all for the Olympics. I've been to Europe four times racing in eight different countries, one trip to Ecuador, two trips to Canada, and various races in California and the East Coast. And all of this before July 4th! I have never been so mentally and physically exhausted in my entire cycling career. Yet there are days when I look at my situation and laugh at how trivial it all is. Last week my husband narrowly avoided a head-on collision with a driver that fell asleep at the wheel. Our lives could have been destroyed in a split second, yet they weren't. My husband is home and I'm home.
You have to ask yourself just what is it that you hold dear to your heart. And I wonder why I'm so upset at not getting to go to a race in a country that just had a major power outage, has some of the worst pollution in the world, will reach temperatures close to 110 degrees by the end of August, and is always under the constant threat of a terrorist attack. I guess because it's the Olympics. There isn't a way to describe what it's like to represent your country at the biggest sporting event in the world. I've tried to say it's just another race. But it's not. The Olympics are the culmination of a lifetime of hard work and dedication. They are a magical moment in an athlete's career that becomes a part of you for the rest of your life.
So what is it that I truly hold dear to my heart? More than anything I value my health and the health of my family and friends. I also realize that it's ok to be upset about not making the Olympic team and it's ok to be disappointed. The Olympics have been a big part of my life for the last eight years and I'm incredibly lucky to have been able to participate twice already. I'll finish out the season of racing and someday in the future I will look back on this summer and laugh about how crazy life was for six months.
And for those of you wondering how the last two World Cups went. Mt. Ste. Anne was a disaster. I had a bad crash early on and never recovered. My legs felt flat and then my confidence fell apart. I finished a dismal 22nd. One to forget. Calgary was much better. I had good legs and my head was in a much better place. I finished a satisfying 7th.
Now I'm home for almost a month (unbelievable!). We have three Norba Nationals left, two of which are in Colorado. The World Championships are the second week of September in Les Gets, France, near Chamonix. And then our National Championships are Sept 25th. That's a total of five races in three months. Life just suddenly got a lot easier. Yippee!
I want to thank all of you for the tremendous support you've given me this summer. The emails, phone calls, letters, and notes have made the last six months a little easier to deal with. Now it's time to enjoy being at home and getting reacquainted with my husband. Haha!
Happy Trails
Alison
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